Dear Penguin editors of The Faerie Queen

Dear Penguin editors of Edmund Spencer's The Faerie Queen:

The "u" makes a u sound, not a v sound.

The "v" makes a v sound, not a u sound.

I don't know if Renaissance England was some sort of retconned opposite day, where v and u switched places, or if "recovered" was actually pronounced "recouered" (however you would even say that) and "up" pronounced "vp" or whatever--and frankly, I don't care. This isn't Chaucer, where the English pronunciation of the era was so different that original spelling must be preserved to maintain the rhyme scheme. No, in Spencer, you can switch the v and u back to normalized-spelling in every single case, and it will still read exactly the same. Done. Finished. End of story. No more translating my own language in my head.

For crying out loud, this is the era of Shakespeare. The King James Bible. Even if these other texts also used u's for v's and vice-versa, we've long since adjusted these master-works for contemporary typography and modern readers, all without sacrificing their poetry, power, or basic pronunciation. Penguin, contrary to what you may believe, you are not in fact "preserving Spencer's original poetry" by stubbornly clinging to archaic spellings; no, you're being a jack-ass. Stop it.