Double-spacers of the World Unite!

"The abbreviation for doctor is Dr. Thomas did not know that."

Oh, I'm sorry, did that sentence make you do a double-take?  Did it trip you up a second there, cost you a needless nanosecond of confusion?  Here, let the double-space-after-the-period help:

"The abbreviation for doctor is Dr.  Thomas did not know that."

Ah, much better!  The double-space to the rescue once more!

Such strange, uncivilized times we live in, wherein the double-space is under repeated, ridiculous attack by reactionary, unthinkingly-dogmatic single-spacers (hereafter referred to as the SS).  The way these grammatical busy-bodies carry-on, you'd think double-spacers were slash-and-burning rain forests, or murdering kittens, or using hotmail or something.  

 Funny, this SS religious intolerance, for I've never once tut-tutted an SS.  Just what are these jihadists compensating for?  Are they mad that double-spacing exposes and implicitly rebukes the needless ambiguity of their writing? 

The double-space provides the "brain break" necessary for readers to fully digest the completed sentence.  Far from some anachronistic "hold-over from the type-writer era," the double-space helps emphasize the sentence's completion, especially on a computer screen where the period and comma look small and similar.  Since the computer-standard fonts of Times New Roman, Cambria, and Ariel all utilize different-sized letters (as opposed to the monotonous uniformity of Courier on typewriters), the need for clearer sentence-termination is greater in the computer age, not less.

Simply put, the SS hatred for the double-space is like hating the Oxford comma, or hating unambiguity in language.  What reasonable defense can there possibly be for this bizarre single-space fetish?  The SS, when faced with their lack of logic, inevitably cite the latest, faddist AP Style Guide (the same amoral scoundrels who assault the Oxford comma), as though both the APA and MLA style guides hadn't already out-voted them.  Even their sorry Refuge in Authority collapses!

Moreover, if you want to talk about ridiculously outdated holdovers, twas the AP Style Guide that exiled the Oxford comma decades ago to help newspapers save money on ink, back when ink was a higher expense.  Why not lift this petty Oxford comma ban, now that the economic need is long gone?  But AP is much too stuck in its oldy-moldy ways.  It's the AP Style Guide that is a hopeless throwback, not double-spaces; and I will listen to the much more modern MLA and APA before I listen to crotchety ol' grandpa AP and his sorry SS ilk.

Furthermore, SS accusations of Luddite inflexibility in double-spacers is likewise laughable, since these SS complain of how it be their younger students, not just older, who still insist upon the habitual double-space (the children of the internet age, after all, would best understand the need for clarity on computer screens!). 

What's more, claims that double-spaces waste space are simply uproarious, for wouldn't typewriters be more worried about wasting physical paper than computers wasting screen space?  Yet the SS insist that typewriters created the double-space convention.  Thus even the "typewriter holdover" argument hilariously explodes in the face of the SS fundamentalists.

The purpose of language is to communicate, and so the more ambiguity you introduce into language (as the single-space does), the more you undermine language's primary function.  The double-space is less ambiguous, more aesthetically pleasing, and is already an ingrained habit, the breaking of which has made typists more self-conscious and thus less efficient.  Comrades, stand with me against the SS barbarians, and proudly type the double-space after every period! 

Double-spacers of the world unite!

(Now, will someone please show me how to disable the auto-space-changer on facebook, so that I can type a double-space after periods like a civilized human being?!)