On Driving the I-80 East

There are many beautiful parts of Wyoming--Jackson Hole, Yellowstone, Star Valley--none of which are near the I-80.  Along those barren stretches, lined by ominous snow-drift barricades, with more roaming-cell-signals than roaming-buffalo, it's little wonder that Wyoming has the highest rate of outward-migration in the Union.

Continuing East: there's a reason Bruce Springsteen named his most depressing album Nebraska.  When my Iowan Uncle later joked, "Did you see the giant sign reading 'Monotonous' across the state?", all I could think was, "Man, if even Iowans mock Nebraska..."

Which brings us to Iowa, a state that lives up to its reputation of corn, empty, then more corn.  But don't be fooled by that supposedly inoffensive, "wholesome-heartland" exterior!  There's something sinister about those endless cornfields, and not just from the Beckettian-buzzing emanating from the locusts and cicadas.

For because the Presidential primaries are held first here, no ambitious congressman dares disrupts the Iowa corn subsidies (the Spice must flow!); consequently corn-syrup and corn-starch makes its way into increasingly-unhealthy amounts of all we eat and drink; that same corn gets pumped into our gas-tanks in an ethanol-process that takes more oil to produce than it replaces; and consequently the price of food in general is rising.

In wealthy America, this means we pay pennies more for our bread; but in poorer countries, the result is a doubling and tripling of prices, resulting in violent unrest like the Arab Spring (sky-rocketing food prices sparked the French Revolution, too).  "Every nation is only 9 meals away from revolution" indeed.  And the collapse of human civilization all starts with innocuous, empty Iowa--no one ever suspects the Iowa!

To conclude: if it can at all be helped, when driving east across America, try and take the I-70 instead.  It may add hours and money to your journey, but the drive through southern Utah and Colorado is a little more...inspiring.