...But That's Not a Party

When I was younger and more self-conscious, I held with those that said that my preferred form of "partying" is to simply hang out with friends and enjoy a laid-back, stimulating conversation.  And indeed, to this day, one of my greatest pleasures in life is to be in the company of kindred spirits and converse happily well into the night.

...but that's not a party.

And I still meet full grown adults today whom I suspect have not quite overcome the self-consciousness of their youth, who insist that they don't like dancing, that when they go to a party, they prefer to just kick back with a few drinks and "unwind."  And indeed, in our terminally high-speed postmodern society, few things are more necessary than to deliberately slow-down and "unwind" every so often.

...but that's not a party!

And I still get invitations to events advertised as "parties," that invariably mean mingling while eating snacks, or sitting down around various board games, or laying down to watch a rented movie, or blasting music for the primary activity of holding a drink aloft and speaking loudly.  And yes, yes, I rush to agree with you, food is delicious, and meeting new people is wonderful, and board games can be fun with the right group of people, and it's better to watch movies with friends than alone, and sometimes it's nice to just obliterate all conscious thought through loud music or worst.

...but none of those are parties!

Here's something that I actually had to grow up to understand, that I fear far too many folks in my demographic still do not, and that is that in a party, one must go wild!  One must lose one's self!  In an all-too-rare real party, one must dance--even if you dance badly--especially if you dance badly!  You must let loose all of your inhibitions, all of your self-consciousness, all of your debilitating social fears of looking ridiculous, in short, of your pride, your ego, your self-importance.

Parties, you see, are absolutely essential for your mental health, to end your isolation and feel part of the larger human community, to no longer be beholden to the past or the future, to release your anxieties, to give full expression to your mind, your body, and your soul, all at once, as you're entire self feels united and free and alive. 

Please don't misunderstand me, I speak not of decadence or narcotics or over-consumption of alcohol or other forms of gross self-indulgence, those aren't parties either, but still more sorry substitutes (and boring ones at that) that alienate us off from others, not unite us; that pettishly guard and gratify our fragile egos, not obliterate them.  After a true party, you should feel more alive, not deadened; you should feel more free, not isolated (an important distinction, I've learned); you will feel more connected to yourself, as your conscious and sub-conscious reconcile, and you will dream good dreams at night.

Guys, let me be clear: I totally want us all to continue to have long, enjoyable conversations late into the night, and to meet and mingle, and enjoy good food and drink together, and watch good movies and play board games...but guys, let's also remember to actually party, and not make the grievous mistake of confusing any of the former for the latter!