Jacob Bender Has A Blog!: Salt Lake I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down

Last year, after I got my PhD acceptance letters in the mail and as I prepared to move cross country, I found myself often singing along to that old LCD Soundsystem standard, "New York I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down," only swapping out "New York" for "Salt Lake." Nary another lyric change was necessary:

"Salt Lake I love you, but you're bringing me down," "Like a rat in a cage/pulling minimum wage" [hey-oh, Right-to-Work state!], "our records all show/you are filthy but fine" [the inversion!], "To the cops who got bored once they've run out of crime," "Salt Lake you're perfect, oh please don't change a thing," "Your mild millionaire [govenor's] now convinced he's a king" [Hunstman 2012!], "So the boring collect/I mean all disrespect," "but you're still the one [lake] where I'd happily drown" [but you can't, because no one can sink in the Great Salt Lake]...

Because I really do love that city, horrible air pollution and schizophrenic local politics and terrible drivers and all: it's stunningly situated among snow-capped mountains; the city is just large enough to be cosmopolitan but not so large as to be overcrowded; it's got dirt cheap cost of living while filled with million dollar views; you're never more than 20-minutes from some amazing hikes, or a day's drive from some world-class National Parks; it's calm (I once had a Jewish roommate from Chicago, and that's the adjective he always used to explain why he moved there, "it's so much more calm here man, it's calm!"); it's got an international hub airport, wide streets, a well-designed downtown, a major university and an award-winning public library; the summer heat is dry and the winter snow has no wind-chill; and when the sun sets over the Wasatch Front and reflects off the Great Salt Lake while you watch from the University parking lot...oh yes, you could do a lot worst than end up in Salt Lake City.

Nevertheless, after getting my MA from the University of Utah, I felt like I was just spinning my wheels there for awhile. I was employed, yes, and that doing what I love most, teaching college (though never full time at any one place--hence the need for the PhD), and I had many adventures and made many friends and learned many new things and traveled a lot...but still I was just sort of plateaued out, not feeling like I was getting anywhere with my life.

Now, I was far from the only young single adult in SLC who felt that way--in fact, many spent far longer spinning their wheels there than I--in fact, that sense of solidarity with my peers is part of why I loved that city; but it's also part of why Salt Lake was bringing me down. And when I think back on my (longer than expected) time in SLC, I remember its beauty and adventure as easily as I do the heartbreak and frustration, and I am grateful and regretful all at once.

So take me off your mailing list/To the kids who think it still exists/Maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'm right...And oh, maybe mother told you true/and there'll always be somebody there for you/and you'll never be alone/But maybe she's wrong, and maybe I'm right/and if so, here's this song...

Salt Lake I love you but you're bringing me down...