Shawshank Redemption 2: THE SEQUEL!

So apparently The Shawshank Redemption was on TV 151 hours last year. Weirdly, that number actually feels low for Shawshank.  Heaven knows I first saw the film while randomly flipping channels one day...and that I saw it again that way every single time after, too.  Doesn't matter how many times I've seen that film, still if I'm randomly flipping channels and it's on, no matter whether it's at the start, the middle, or the end, no matter if I have appointments or other important things to do that day, I will sit put and watch it through to the end--and apparently I'm far from alone.  Despite debuting to middling box office returns in 1994, Shawshank is apparently now one of the most reliable money-makers in cinematic history. 

By the immutable laws of modern Hollywood, you know what that means: SEQUEL! 

Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman are BACK as Andy and Red, who, while still on the lamb in Mexico, are framed for the assassination of the President, who was killed to cover up the Roswell UFO held in old Shawshank prison, now converted into a high-tech research facility! 

Now, to clear his name and save America, the only man who ever broke OUT of Shawshank has to break back IN, steal the space-ship, take out the terrorists holding San Francisco hostage, infect the Independence Day Mothership, and team up with James Bond, The Terminator, Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, John McClain, Indiana Jones, Rick Deckard and Han Solo to destroy Skynet before it's too late!

ANDY DUFRESNE: You either get busy living...
(Throws down his cigarette and raises a bazooka)
ANDY DUFRESNE: ...or you get busy dying!
(Fires)

SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION 2: JUDGMENT DAY.  

Coming soon to relentless replay on TNT and TBS!

(You can just mail me my check, Hollywood).