Friday, January 17, 2014

A Report on an Experiment: Flying Out of Chicago Instead of Cedar Rapids

Hypothesis:

It is ultimately cheaper and worth the hassle to take the Megabus to Chicago and fly direct out of O'Hare, instead of flying out of Cedar Rapids?

Conclusion:

No.

Experiment Background:

The nearest airport to Iowa City is Cedar Rapids, which is a half-hour drive away, so you better hope you have friends available to pick you up or drop you off--it's either that, or pony up the $40-odd to take an airport shuttle.  But even then, all that tiny airport does is put you on a little region-hopper to a major airport.  Thus, if you ever want to fly further away than Chicago, Minneapolis, St. Louis, or Denver, you're never looking at a direct flight out of Iowa to anywhere.

Methodologies:

My roommate suggested a different approach--compared to the airport shuttle, it costs a mere $25 (less if you book in advance) to ride the Megabus direct from downtown Iowa City to downtown Chicago.  Also, since Chicago O'Hare is a major hub, tickets are often cheaper out of there than out of Cedar Rapids.  So, for my flight to Washington for Christmas break, I decided to test this hypothesis.

Results:

My first problem was when I found that the only Megabus that would get me to Chicago on time left at roughly 3am.  December at night in Iowa is not exactly amenable to standing outside waiting for a late bus.

The bus takes 4 hours to reach downtown Chicago.  Since my actual flight didn't leave till 3pm, I thought I'd maybe do a little sight-seeing...however, as the bus pulled pass the Willis Tower at 7am and I gazed up with only 3 hours sleep, I knew that that wasn't going to happen.  Instead, I hunted down the subway, and in my sleep deprivation rode the Metro ($5 for a single-trip pass) for the next 45 minutes to O'Hare.  I slept fitfully at the terminal.

Now, the goal in flying out of Chicago had been to fly as cheaply as possible, so I naturally booked the cheapest tickets I could find, which were on Spirit Airlines (AKA "The Worst").  The booking on-line said "Chicago to Portland," so it wasn't till I printed the booking passes that I learned of my layovers in Las Vegas and San Diego.  Way to give me a heads up there, Spirit (serious, Spirit is the worst).

Other terrible things that Spirit isn't forthright about: they charge you for your carry-on, they charge for drinks and snacks (exorbitantly, I might add), they'll charge to print boarding passes at the kiosk, and they'll charge you if you want something other than a middle seat.  All told, accounting for all these extra charges, even settling for middle seat and no water, it would've been cheaper to fly, say, Delta or AA out of Cedar Rapids--and I would've had more leg-room, too (again--and not to belabor the point--Spirit is the worst).

Spirit also had a long, inexplicable delay at Vegas, so on my return trip (which had 3 layovers, not just 2), I decided that, to be safe, I better take the Megabus the next morning, in case I was delayed again.  Thus, I booked a hostel in downtown Chicago for the night.  In addition to adding still more to my overall travel costs, this meant it took 2 solid days to travel from Washington back to Iowa.

To put that into perspective: it took about the same amount of time for me to take a train across central China and fly over the Pacific back to America.

Recommendations:

Denizens of Iowa City and environs!  Learn from my fail!  Stick to Cedar Rapids airport! What you don't pay in money you instead pay in time and hassle...and you don't actually save any money, either!

Conclusions:

Iowa really doesn't like it when you try to leave; like a clingy bad date who knows you're not going to call back, or an incompetent company that adds cancellation fees to try and keep your business, or a Soviet dictatorship trying to prevent mass defection, Iowa likes to make it as hard as possible to get out.  I've seen t-shirts around campus that read "Iowa, Love It or Leave It!"  Oh, if only it were that easy...

Also: At the risk of sounding repetitive, Spirit Airlines is the worst.  That is all.

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