What I Learned From Being Sans Cell Phone for 10 Days

1. There is no replacement for the human voice. I don't just mean "that intangible quality" whatever (though that counts, too). No, when one is trying to coordinate an event, 2 minutes of actual conversation is more productive than hours of e-mailing back and forth. So much more information can be conveyed by 2 people speaking than can ever be communicated via mere text documents.

2. Mobile Phones are now, have long been, and will long be, necessities. They have not been supplanted by facebook, gmail, skype, or anything else. I thought I was just being a good sport, going without a phone those first couple days. I even joked that I wasn't even "off the grid" given my internet connection and 4 e-mail accounts. I even fancied being phone-less would be a nice break.

Wrong. People--from work, my family, my social life--could not get a hold of me. I could not get a hold of them. I initially made jokes about having "first world problems" being sans phone--but I assure you, by day 10, this was starting to feel like an actual, real problem.

3. This more of a review, but: Do not trust corporations. Ever. When I went into Verizon the day after my phone died, they told me it would take 1-5 days to ship me my phone. I good-naturedly accepted this deal on good faith. They offered to overnight it for $18, but why would I pay to overnight a faulty product that they'd sold me? Again, at the time, I didn't think that it'd be a big deal. But, when a solid week had passed, I finally had to go in and ask where my phone was.

The poor sap assisting me looked up my account, furrowed his brow, began avoiding eye contact, went and got his manager, and finally sheepishly confessed that the order had never been shipped, because the order was never processed. I gritted my teeth and reminded myself that the person to get pissed at was not standing in front of me. They offered to overnight my replacement free of charge this time. I said that was wise. It still didn't come till Monday, and even then I still had to go into Verizon and demand the tracking number and FedEx office it was being held at so I could pick it up myself.

Meanwhile, I am most certainly going to still be billed for the 10 days I couldn't use Verizon's service at all. These are the same scoundrels who tried to introduce a $5 bill-paying fee a month or so ago. Seriously. Do not trust corporations. Ever.

4. Now, does this mean should've just ponied up for the overnight expense on day 1? Hell no, that's most certainly why they messed up my delivery so royally! No, if I'd known what a fiasco this would become, I should've just said, on day 1, when they offered to ship my replacement: "No, you are not. You are going to go out back, and get me a new phone. You will not ship me a replacement phone, you will mail me nothing. You will take this faulty device that you sold me, go to your inventory, and bring me a replacement. Now." And I would not have moved until they did. I would not have negotiated with them any more than I would negotiate with terrorists.

I advise you to do the same.